US Sec. of Defense Pete Hegseth accidently livestreams top secret raid on Twitch
The stream attracted over 3 million people across the world, including the targets of the raid.
Washington D.C - In yet another US national security fumble by a member of the Trump administration, Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth livestreamed a high level top secret Navy Seal operation live on the streaming website Twitch.com.
The incident occurred yesterday evening at around 7PM EST time (4AM Arabian Standard Time) at the Whitehouse. In a joint operation between Israel and the US, a top secret mission in Yemen was supposed to take place under the cover of darkness that would potentially see the upper leadership of the Houthis neutralized. The operation was called “Operation Nut-Sack Surprise” - a name that Hegseth came up with himself.
This operation was in the works for quite a few months. Israeli officials capitalized on the Trump victory within the first week, using back channels to plan and coordinate the attack on the Houthis in hopes of decapitating the leadership to some extent in the hopes that the Red Sea would be open again to shipping traffic. Many hours and late nights between the two intermediaries were involved in the planning.
As the SEAL team approached Yemeni airspace, a secure live steam of the operation was broadcast through secure military channels for high level members of the military and members of the administration to watch.
Sources in the Whitehouse report that rather than watching the steam with the rest of the involved parties, Hegseth decided to watch the operation in his office, on his personal gaming laptop. The reason cited - “he wanted to eat his KFC without having to close his mouth to chew.”
Upon entering his login information to the secure steam, the Secretary of Defense inadvertently logged into his Twitch account with the username “SamuraiSemen” and began broadcasting the operation as it was happening on the website.
Within an hour, over 3 million people across the world were watching Hegseth’s channel as it broadcast the operation in Yemen, including members of the Houthi rebel group.
Yememi sources report that members of the group were doom scrolling social media and trolling Americans early in the morning as they waited for the pre-dawn Fajr prayer to start. They found out about the stream on Twitter where many people first found out about the operation being streamed.
Houthi members quickly informed higher up officials in the group who managed to figure out where the attack was happening. They quickly evacuated key members of the group, gathered weapons and prepared to resist the US special forces.
Viewers watching the Twitch stream reported hearing Hegseth, someone who appeared to sound like Elon Musk and another individual who may have been Steven Miller, cheering, ‘FUCK YEAH U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A” as well as other profanity filled words of patriotism and encouragement for the SEAL team, as well as racist, misogynistic, homophobic, antisemitic, and other xenophobic comments throughout the stream - something that isn’t out of the ordinary on other Twitch streams.
When the SEAL team deployed its commanders on the ground just outside of Sanaa, they were immediately faced with a barrage of heavy gunfire, exploding grenades, and other heavy weaponry.
Several members of the SEAL team’s legs blew off, with one incurring injury to his rectum. Sadly, and another member of the SEAL team was neutralized by the Houthi fighters.
Officials from the Joint Special Operations Command (JSOC) and United States Special Operations Command (USSOCOM) refused to comment officially on the incident, presumably out of embarrassment.
Upon finding out about the the livestream and subsequent botched operation, one US Army General allegedly said about Hegseth, “What stupid whore gave birth to this dumbass? Was she drinking when she was carrying him?” Another US Army General allegedly tried to strike Hegseth with his fists but was stopped by members of the administration who were in the Oval Office where the altercation took place.
Satrica has reached out to President Donald Trump repeatedly about the incident only to be told no such incident occurred.